"When you “go home”, some of the same people and places are there, but life has moved on in your absence. When you show up for the so-called “home assignment” or “furlough,” you can not just pick up where you left off. You are a visitor. An outsider. A guest without a permanent role."
"Now that you are home, you are full of experiences and stories from the place that has become your second home. You say things like, “Back in my host country…” But, of course, whatever story you tell them about your host country is hard to relate to. The things that you really miss about your host country receive a blank stare, or a “That’s weird.” 'It is home, but currently it is not. Our family looses its rhythm that we find comfort in at "home" in Haiti. Even though when we are here in Haiti we sometimes feel so out of place and misunderstood; desiring the ease of little things like transportation, grocery stores, communication, running water, constant electricity, family outings, the list could go on... But then we realize that "home" is relative.
7 for we walk by faith, not by sight. 8 Yes, we are of good courage,
and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.
9 So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.
2 Corinthians 5:7-9
There were moments while in the states that I just soaked up the memories, as if I was staring at a picture during that very moment, not wanting to take it for granted. The warmth of love from friends and family, celebrating family traditions and starting new ones, watching the next generation of our family find joy in each others company; those things in life that are irreplaceable and can only be captured in the moment. Those things felt like home, because they filled my heart with joy. But those things happen no matter where you are and God can use many people to fill these needs in our lives. See, I cherished these moments and long for them again, but I also longed to come back to our "home" in Haiti, the place where I feel God's presence in our family and allowing us to find home in this place.
While in the states I missed the relaxed lifestyle of our host country, our home, I missed the beautiful people, I missed our kids, staff and community friends. It is a crazy place to be emotionally. But I am glad to be home! My kids are glad to be home, and that is a great feeling. So while we are in between physical homes, we find peace in Christ and allow Him to create a home in our hearts.
Jen
