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Saturday, July 4, 2015

Life...

This life...

This time you walk out on earth... 

How often do you treasure it and pour out all you have each day? 
What are you leaving behind? 
Who do you live this life for? 

I have grown weary and tired over the last few weeks and can not seem to catch up.  Galatians 6:9 pops in and out of my head and I try to hold fast to it, but the world gets in the way.  

"Do not grow weary in doing good..."  He says to me.  I hear it, and think, but I am so tired.  What am I tired from?  What is the "good" He is talking about?  I sometimes feel the pressure to look busy, and I feel in my gut that looking busy is not how you love others.  It is how you get tired and worn out.  Finishing my to do list, or not finishing it and them looming over my head, how consuming and exhausting.  Everyday Jesus reminds me that I am to follow Him, He is the way and the truth and the light, and then the things of the world show up.  I become "busy", short with my own kids, frustrated with tasks that come up not on my list, hurried with the things to get done, carry the wait of pleasing people, frustrated with myself because I lost sight of what was important and can't reset the day, the list could go on... but I must stop.  Cease.  Regroup. Reconnect.  Go back to Jesus.  

So this is where I am.  It has been a crazy last month or so.  Lots of great things have happened, but man are we tired. 

-At the end of May, Major turned 10 years old! He is doing well, as mom I still struggle with all that goes with being a missionary kid, but he is an amazing young man, a little quirky, but I think that came with turning 10.  He is still finding his place here, but most of his days are great!  Praying for a bond between him and Sean and for God to allow some really cool father and son time to take place. 

-We have had multiple groups of people in and out.  It is always interesting meeting people and doing life with them for 7 days.  I love to watch my kids connect and bond with them and for the new perspective the groups give me on life here and the joy of my kids. 

-There has been a lot of construction projects finishing up, which is so awesome.  After a ton of hard work our campuses are looking amazing.  The beauty among the chaos is so refreshing.  We moved our family downstairs to a more central location, still same style living and apartment, just downstairs where the kids can run out and play in the yard, we are more aware of things taking place, visitors, etc.  We are still not completely unpacked and settled, but we will get there.  

-I am learning that the language barrier can be so frustrating, but when I am not in the moment and reflecting on it, I see that God is using it to grow me in mighty ways.  There were times in Texas when God gave me many opportunities to talk and share, but my insecurities and "shyness" stopped me.  Now all I want to do is shake some of these kids and tell them everything on my heart, and I try, but I struggle through bad grammar and lack of vocabulary.  I am reminded that sometimes it may not be my words, but the time spent, the hugs and pat on the back, the smile and the limited verbal encouragement that God can use and He is not limited by that.  

-Our family has been surviving these last few weeks.  Like many families life gets busy and those we love the most get the left overs. I am so convicted of this, and Sean and I pray about it daily, we pray for God to use even the small moments we find to pour into our family.

We are so grateful for all of those that stand with us and support us along this journey.  I pray for God to use you and your time to glorify Him.  I encourage all of us to find peace among our chaos and time to reflect on the things God has laid on our hearts.