Emotions, Creole, rain, Legos and some needed prayers.

        Our emotions, feelings and thoughts are a roller coaster.  The past couple weeks have been quite exhausting and often defeating.  From what we have heard and read the 4-6 month window really sucks!  So looking back at the previous weeks (and knowing we have only been here 2 months) we are not exactly filled with peace or confidence.  Now please hear us, it has NOT been horrible by any means, but struggles and frustrations have occurred and many prayers for peace, strength and healing are being lifted up daily.  Sanity and focus is a daily battle and we ask for you to join with us in prayer.  The past few days Jen and I have really felt the Lord (through some good friends & His word) reminding us that HE is our mission and how we lead our family is of the utmost importance.  So today we sit with a renewed sense of clarification and focus for our week ahead. 

Learning language has been a rather interesting task.  Currently our house is filled with pieces of tape helping us with our Creole vocabulary.   Besides our time with the Lord and our family, language acquisition is of the highest importance.  You cannot effectively and fully minister in a country unless you can communicate in that country’s language.  So with this daunting task, we press on with a few wins among mostly misses.  Maj has an awesome tutor that he just started with this week.  It’s amazing to watch how young minds absorb language as Jen and I pray for that ability.  Our goal for Major (if we can afford it) is to have 4 Creole classes per week.  We know that if he will commit the effort then he will be able to integrate within our community and make the much-needed friendships. Jen and I have a tutor that comes twice a week and we are learning, but SLOWLY.  Overall Jen and I make a decent entry level Creole communicating team.  I feel I have a better overall vocabulary but she seems to be able to communicate and put together complete thoughts and sentences.  One of our main struggles with language is finding the committed time each day to study and practice.  Between life in Haiti and our normal chaos with the kiddos dedicating time to study is a constant struggle!  We are both praying that the Lord would bless us with a super natural understanding and usage of Creole as we begin to settle in. 

We attempted Haitian church two Sundays ago, and lets just say it was an experience that we will not partake in again any time soon.  Service started about 8:30 and went to 10:45. No ac, children crawling in our laps, dripping wet from sweat and no clue about what was going on!  A small win was that we did recognize 2 songs so that we could sing along and worship!  We laugh about it now but thankful to go back to our Sunday norm.  Sundays consist of church online, Sunday school for the kiddos, and heading to the beach for a restful afternoon. 

(The guys in their Sunday best and NO I did NOT wear a suit or a tie!  I was lucky to wear a collar, pants and closed toed shoes!)

Today we woke to overcast and COOL skies.  No beach today, but the Lord blessed us with a day that feels like fall; rain and a breeze and the temperature somewhere in the 80’s.  With that, we were able to enjoy our coffee and do online church without a fan buzzing in our ear.  With church under our belt we continued on with our day with some small projects around the house, some quiet time for the kiddos (and us) and finished off the afternoon with an intense family Lego session.  So as the rain still falls and the temp is still cool, today was refreshing and a much needed opportunity to refuel. 

We have had the opportunity to meet another American missionary living in the town to our East.  She has been here on and off for 2 years and 3 months ago married a Haitian.  She comes to Ti Goave often and has started for a prison-feeding program here. Those in prison in Haiti do not eat unless someone on the outside brings them food so this is a real ministry opportunity. (Pray for Jen as she has been invited to go and serve with her.)  Jen really wants to go, but pray God grants her strength and protects her heart and mind as we have heard it is pretty intense.

For those of you that want to pray for us specifically here are a few things to keep on your heart and mind.

-      Creole, that it may soak in and that we may communicate more effectively and freely.  Holy Spirit please feel free to empower us with this gift!

-      A steadfast focus on Him and our family.  That is our mission and everything else is a bonus. 

-      Starting an English class for our community.  How do we start, do we charge so that it comes with a higher level of commitment and effort, if so how much, how do we use it as a witness?  Also, to get our classroom ready and to find the best curriculum to use for our neighbors and us.

-      There is a concrete slab at the end of our street that youth (10yr-25yr) meets to play soccer.  Can we use this area as a ministry and how?  Jen has the idea of hotdogs and the Jesus Story Book bible.  Pray that God will give us the clarity and confidence despite the language barrier and not let satan seep in and tell us this is silly and ridiculous. 

-      Pray for the hearts and minds of our family and our students.  As two very different cultures converge we pray for unity regardless of the trials we face and with our individual tasks at hand.  Lord fill our home with peace, trust, unity and Your presence!  Let our home overflow with You!

-      For a potential ministry opportunity to strengthen the students.  I am praying over the possibility of having a young local pastor come in 1 day a week to work with the guys.  This would be an opportunity for the pastor to earn some extra money for his family and for the guys to hear the Scripture and be discipled in their native language.  Please pray for the finances to cover this expense and for schedules to align for this pastor and us. 

With our heightened emotions today we reflect on, and are ever so grateful for, our family and friends at home that join with us in prayer as we miss them and walk through this journey in Haiti! 

Sean

A damning travesty

As the guys have begun their college classes I have spent more time in a classroom than the stereotypically freshman at my alma mater!  With that, I have been flooded with emotion and insight as our guys move forward in pursuit of the precious and elusive “college degree.” 

Through observations and conversations my head is spinning with the damning travesty that awaits the typical Haitian student as they walk the road of their educational journey with high hopes of changing their fate and that of their family.   Regardless of age, I’m an eyewitness to the train wreck of injustice that is: memorization as learning.  I began to notice this style of “education” a few years ago, as I reviewed textbooks and discussed courses with friends.  The ideas of comprehension, application and critical thinking seem to be lost somewhere in the educational abyss of Haiti.  I have discussed this phenomenon with others working around the island and we are noticing some fearful trends.  This problem is most easily spotted when studying English, but it also rears its ugly head in other subjects, even math.  The idea of literacy is held in such high regard here, but somewhere along this journey comprehension is lost.  It’s literally being able to audibly read every word on a page, but not actually comprehending much for their effort. From an early age the typical student is taught that memorization IS learning.  If you can regurgitate words or information (regardless of understanding) you are considered educated and promoted to the next level of devastation.  As this realization has come to a head for me, I’m defeated.  I stand looking up at the mountain of young people waiting to take the reigns of Haiti and know they are being cheated from their potential.  Now, please realize that I am speaking in generalizations, as there are many amazing young people and schools in Haiti taking education and the future seriously.  These fine few are doing their damnedest to deafen this cry but overall I’m sickened by the plight that faces the masses.  I feel helpless, I feel unqualified, I feel overwhelmed, and I’m lost.  With these feelings come a disgusting sense of entitlement as I think about how I took the education that I was so BLESSED to receive for granted.  If you are like me, I encourage you to say your prayers of repentance and thanksgiving, as well as ask you to pray for revelation, determination and courage for those that are taking this damning travesty head on! 

 Sean

A tough day...anywhere in the world.

This post comes with tears and sleepless nights, not only for me but also with many that have the honor to know Jude.

The hand dealt to Jude sucks.  To be honest, over the past few days I have really been struggling with God on Jude’s path and why it is what it is.  With many things in my life I feel that I have handled adversity well and approached God with the question of “What” rather than “Why”, but not with Jude.

See the problem is not necessarily his diagnoses, but rather how his days are playing out.  In 2011, Jude was diagnosed with Lymphoma; he went to the US for treatment and was able to return to Haiti with a clean bill of health.  The problem is, shortly after arriving back home; Jude began to experience lower back pain.  Because of Jeff, a dear friend, like a surrogate father to Jude, he was able to see a specialist in Port au Prince only to discover that his cancer had spread to his bones and is attacking his lower spine and hip region.  Cancer is no stranger in my life and the bastard is really starting to piss me off.  Over the past few years I have seen my mom, dad, an uncle, my little buddy Will and others battle this disease and now Jude.  So as I have seen the havoc that cancer plays on lives, I ask God “why this path for Jude?”  To cancer, I can stay strong with my “Ok God, WHAT is your plan for this”, but to see Jude battle and struggle with excruciating pain day in and day out makes me sick.  The past few days Jude has consumed my heart, my mind and my prayers.  Why is God allowing Jude to battle such pain, pain that causes him to lose his sight at times, pain that won’t let his body rest, pain that takes away a young mans appetite and a pain that is stealing his youth, a pain that is stealing his life.

So I was asked, and it was truly my honor, to drive Jude to his latest doctors appointment in Port au Prince (PaP), but the trip came with much more than I expected.  Just by being asked to drive Jude, my emotions and prayers began stirring for him even more so than before.  Our (Jude, Jeff, myself and 2 others) day began long before many on our precious island even began to stir, but we were ready for the mission at hand: What can be done to ease Jude’s pain?  As we drove through the winding beaten roads Jude sits in silence, yet stirs in pain.  His night only provided pain and prayerful cries for relief.  As I listen to stories from Jeff talking about holding Jude in the warm still nights and listening to him cry and pray for mercy and healing I’m burdened for this young man.  And really how could you not be?   A young man, who loves the Lord, has his whole life before him and he is chained to his bed in pain.  God, what are you doing?  Why does Jude have to battle this way?  Is one round of cancer not enough?  Is life any Haiti, not enough?  When will this crippling and life stealing pain end?  So between questions like these, prayers and a death grip on the wheel, we make our way to PaP seeking comfort for a friend. 

I am truly inspired and blessed (and convicted) by Jude and his faith.  As a young man fights for his life, he leans on the cornerstone of our Lord, believing and trusting Him for a miracle.  See doctors have said that only God can spare him now.  Most conversation I have with Jude lead to my choking up and hanging my head for my personal lack of faith.  Here stands before me; a young man whose body is being ravaged by the work of this fallen world and yet He stands firm that our GOD IS THE GREAT PHYSICAIN and THE GREAT HEALER!  For many of us, this idea or prayer comes on whims of passing stories and request.  But what if this thought was your reality?  What if this stance was your only means to waking each day?  What if your faith was the only reason you could face another day filled with pain so intense that you cry to God for relief?  Where would you turn?  How would you handle this?  I look into Jude’s eyes and see his resolve, his conviction and am blessed by a faith that cannot be shaken. 

Back to our day, Jude was able to see his doctor, who thankfully prescribed some stronger and more effective pain meds.  Upon our departure from what we would consider a successful appointment, despite another dose, Jude winces in pain, struggles to walk, struggles to sit and really fights his body just to find a way to just be.  Jude’s battle is so intense at times he is literally blinded in pain.  For Jude, today is one of those days.  So as we begin to make our way home I battle back and forth between the torment of driving in Haiti and the torment of Jude’s sentence.  It’s strange how exhausting a day of driving, praying and talking with God can be.  So as I face my task at hand (to drive and pray) Jude squirms in pain and then begins to sing a song to the Lord.  Its like he was in the car alone with God himself.  No one driving, no passengers, just Jude pleading to His Savior for relief.  An eerie silence fell over me as I smiled because of a young man’s faith and love.  I questioned my self, as I listened to one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard, even though I only understood a few words, where would I turn?  To the bottle, to pills, to anything that might take the pain and offer some relief, but no Jude sings to His Healer. 

Nothing this far in Haiti has brought me as much joy as listening to Jude sing.  Within minutes of Jude’s song comes a smile and a “where’s my sandwich?”  So whether it was Jude’s meds or steadfastness in prayer he catches a glimpse of relief.  My car is literally filled with joy as we all sigh in relief on Jude’s behalf. 

No matter, what city or country you find yourself in today, I think you can see the weight of our day.  Imagine this struggle, this fight, this being your norm.  I cant; and this is why I struggle.  I really don’t know what to do for my new friend, Jude, other than plead as the persistent widow did to God on Jude’s behalf.  I plead that Jude would be a modern day Job, that God would heal and bless Jude ten fold, that the Lord would be made famous because of his healing.  I ask that you pray for Jude.  In “Christianise” we many times pray through the lens of “Lord, if its in your will” this is our scape goat and safety net so if our prayers aren’t answered we just say “it wasn’t God’s will”, but that’s not how I am praying for Jude.  I want Jude to find relief from his torment and I want him healed.  Bottom line, no buts, no asterisk, just healed and I ask that you do the same!  Pray with boldness, pray with song, pray with tears, and pray that God would allow the sun to stand still for Jude as he is healed!  

Sean

Just an Update

Sometimes I just want to share a random update, nothing profound, just a glimpse into what is going on.  

Everything here is going so good!  Last week I got a little homesick one day and just wanted to sit in a room with girlfriends that could speak English!!  (learning the language can be a bit defeating)  But I got over it and doing good now.  Sundays are good and refreshing.  We do a Sunday school with our kids and then online church just Sean and I, we rest and eat lunch and then go to the beach :) It is a pretty awesome day.  When we go to the beach we go to the same spot every time so that we become "regulars" and get to know the other "regulars".  The community there is really neat, there are some cool people (and once the stares ware off) we talk and make new friends...  We have a regular girl that we buy soda from and then another vendor we buy snacks from, and I use the terms loosely as it is some girls sitting with an igloo cooler and a table with boxes on them.  But still it is snacks on the beach and the kids are in heaven.  

Our place is pretty cool...  slowly feeling like home.  It is killing me to not decorate, run to Ikea or Target to get a rug, sofa, tables, materials for a Pinterest project, etc. ... all I can do is paint!  I am having to get really creative and use resources that we brought with us, so I hung a curtain behind our bed to serve as a headboard, and plastic bookshelves to create a little office space.  I also tried to hang some frames up, but the command strip and the concrete walls don't do so well in the humidity.  Sean is getting some chalkboard paint and a masonry bit for the drill today, so maybe we will have some progress.  Also, my sister is at Ikea in the states and I so wish I could walk the isles with her and hand pick things that would count as a checked item on a flight to Haiti....  (I know this is all so trivial, but its like nesting before your baby, it just keeps you busy and comforts you.)

Yesterday morning was one of those days where my feet hit the floor and the day had already felt like it had conquered me!!!  So I left Sean in charge of the kids, stole Major's headphones and hid on the roof with some praise and worship music blaring. (The headphones were so no one could hear my glorious music and find me.)  It was good my the soul to be recharged a bit.  The Lord reminded me I am not on this journey alone, with the words from the song "Home"...

Hold on, to me as we go

As we roll down this unfamiliar road

And although this wave (wave) is stringing us along

Just know you're not alone

Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear

Don't pay no mind to the demons

They fill you with fear

The trouble it might drag you down

If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone

Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear

Don't pay no mind to the demons

They fill you with fear

The trouble it might drag you down

If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone

Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

Sunset view form our rooftop...