The Ride

So as this journey of ours to Haiti continues to unfold I have officially bought the ticket and I am riding a roller coaster of emotions like never before. It's awesome because, if you know me well, you know 2 things about me. 1.  I hate roller coasters and 2.  I am not an emotional guy. So with that, let me share my excitement (please note sarcasm) with you about this ride! I have actually found myself smiling and laughing while crying! What is happening?

See, as we pray, and plan, and talk, and fight, and cry, and laugh, and pray and cry some more there is always this underlying emotion of blissful excitement! No matter the emotion, the clarity of this ride and its destination is utterly beautiful and strangely peaceful.

It's funny how so often in life God uses things that aren't exactly ideal to point us to Him.  The thoughts of fear allow us to rest in Him as our guardian and protector. The doubts of finances and needs reminds us that this is His plan and He will provide. The thoughts of loneliness and isolation are combated with His heart for the unity of believers. The thought of homesickness, when we haven't even left yet, brings  me to see that in His arms we can find rest.

Thank God for my dear friend, pastor and mentor who is always at me to keep my feet grounded and head above the water. I'll never forget him asking me, what are you going to do when the shiny wears off and the "adventure" gets hard and sucks? I must be honest, a big piece of my heart and mind thinks  I'm Indiana Jones on the next big adventure! This part about me is great and I love it, but what happens when my "adventure" or mission puts my lovely bride and precious children in Haiti thousands of miles away from our family, our friends, our church and the comforts of the American dream? That's when my chest tightens, the tears well and the doubt tries to creep in. So as this ride of emotion gradually begins to be too much for me to bare and I begin to sink, I fall, I fall to my knees!

Once again, emotions of fear and excitement bring me back to my Father! There really is no place else I want to be right now than in His hands and seeking His face. I have tried over the past few years to forge my own trail to Haiti and through His grace He has saved me from myself! But now we are on His ride and no matter the emotion, it steers me back to Him, and it must!

So as our ticket is punched with joys and fears, we are thankful that this ride to Haiti is marked by His hand.

Sean