From son to son to Son

As our journey to Haiti stretches on and each trip provides new revelation and clarity, going back to the states gets harder and harder. It's not that I don't miss my family, friends, church and our comforts, but it's about what I leave behind. I'm writing this 3 days before we are set to leave, but the thought of leaving Samuel brings me to tears.  The affection grows each moment, each conversation, each smile and even more during those teachable moments of precious life learning. My heart is literally in two places. Half with Jen, Maj, Addy & B and the other with my other sons. I know many don't get this and some may even dismiss this, but it's a beautiful distress. Jen and I have 2 families now, but miles separate our souls. Sam and LG affectionately refer to themselves as the sons of EI.  Their shining potential is what the Lord used to begin this journey over a year and a half ago. We have adopted them, not legally, but spiritually and emotionally they are our sons, just like Major and Beckett. My love and prayers for them are the same; that they may love the Lord with all their heart, that their love of the Lord shines bright in this dark world, wherever that may be. And, that through their gifts and talents they will impact the world around them in the name of Jesus Christ. So whether we are talking about Major at 7 or Samuel at 26 my soul cries to our Father for His favor on their lives. Whether in Denton or Haiti the need for Godly men, husbands, fathers and leaders is overwhelming and some times sickening. So as I, their father, seek and pray for guidance and mercy from the Lord, He is clear on one thing. It's not how I lead these young men and boys, it is about how I live as a son of Christ, learn to follow Him and trust that by being a follower, He will lead my sons, whether here or there, to Him!

Sean

A Day in the Sun

Oh, how the sunshine and the warm breeze can bring about healing for the weary soul.  These are pictures from last weekend, we really enjoyed an abnormally warm weekend. 

After a week of being cooped up in the house with sick kids, being able to play outside brought us all a great amount of joy.

We enjoyed an entire afternoon at a friends house to celebrate birthdays, followed up by dinner outside on the patio with fruitful conversation. 

It didn't stop there. The next day, yet another blessed day of great weather and we hit the trails for an adventure.  From hide and seek, rock climbing, to just cruising the trails, we enjoyed the calmness and tranquility of Gods beautiful creation!

Comfort

Comfort...

What exactly does this look like?

What does this mean?

Does anyone every actually feel it?

Is it a place where we are called to be?

Fear, anxiety, worry, sacrifice, loneliness, inadequacy; all emotions that flow through me at any given moment. How do I handle this? I crave comfort; then I realize I have what most in the world see as "comfort" and realize I'm not called to stay here.  These emotions are normal and probably justified, but its not ok for me to stay in this place because my faith is greater than these emotions and my God is bigger than them. He is my Overcomer! I can not grasp the reality soon to be part of my story, but I can find joy and excitement in the journey.

My prayer for today for my family and I was for people to believe in us. But I was reminded that God, my God, believes in me. He sent his Son to die for me, because He believes in me and has a plan set before me. I have a choice to seek comfort from my peers, family and friends or I can shift my eyes to Jesus daily and know that He who was sent to save, my Heavenly Father, the Creator, believes in us! Could it get any better?

Jen

The Ride

So as this journey of ours to Haiti continues to unfold I have officially bought the ticket and I am riding a roller coaster of emotions like never before. It's awesome because, if you know me well, you know 2 things about me. 1.  I hate roller coasters and 2.  I am not an emotional guy. So with that, let me share my excitement (please note sarcasm) with you about this ride! I have actually found myself smiling and laughing while crying! What is happening?

See, as we pray, and plan, and talk, and fight, and cry, and laugh, and pray and cry some more there is always this underlying emotion of blissful excitement! No matter the emotion, the clarity of this ride and its destination is utterly beautiful and strangely peaceful.

It's funny how so often in life God uses things that aren't exactly ideal to point us to Him.  The thoughts of fear allow us to rest in Him as our guardian and protector. The doubts of finances and needs reminds us that this is His plan and He will provide. The thoughts of loneliness and isolation are combated with His heart for the unity of believers. The thought of homesickness, when we haven't even left yet, brings  me to see that in His arms we can find rest.

Thank God for my dear friend, pastor and mentor who is always at me to keep my feet grounded and head above the water. I'll never forget him asking me, what are you going to do when the shiny wears off and the "adventure" gets hard and sucks? I must be honest, a big piece of my heart and mind thinks  I'm Indiana Jones on the next big adventure! This part about me is great and I love it, but what happens when my "adventure" or mission puts my lovely bride and precious children in Haiti thousands of miles away from our family, our friends, our church and the comforts of the American dream? That's when my chest tightens, the tears well and the doubt tries to creep in. So as this ride of emotion gradually begins to be too much for me to bare and I begin to sink, I fall, I fall to my knees!

Once again, emotions of fear and excitement bring me back to my Father! There really is no place else I want to be right now than in His hands and seeking His face. I have tried over the past few years to forge my own trail to Haiti and through His grace He has saved me from myself! But now we are on His ride and no matter the emotion, it steers me back to Him, and it must!

So as our ticket is punched with joys and fears, we are thankful that this ride to Haiti is marked by His hand.

Sean